Dear June (part 2),
What are you thinking? You just gave me the craziest weekend of my life. You decided to contract the Toilet Sponge Virus by putting the said sponge into your mouth moments after I have viciously scrubbed the underside of the toilet seat. The next day you were running a temperature of 103 and having terrible stomach pains and nausea. Oh, and you decided to get sick right as your dad left for a conference for 4 days. Oh, and you decided that you didn't want to nurse while you were sick- for 3 days. Andrea helped with you since I couldn't function much after day two of held-in milk. I got out the pump and rubbed some Jasmine on the ladies to help with the engorgement. You wouldn't nurse to sleep, but you wouldn't sleep without me, but I couldn't sleep with you because you kept hitting my boobs- ouch! Andrea even crawled in the pack in play with you to try to get you to sleep, but you woke up as soon as she crawled out. Oh June. After the sickness subsided, we needed a new bedtime routine since you weren't nursing, so I'm afraid to say you have had some fussy evenings for 3 nights now, but you really aren't crying. You're just ticked that no one is laying with you. Today it only took 15 minutes for you to go to go sleep for naptime. If you had words to say, here's what I imagine you are saying from your pack-n-play downstairs:
"Mom! Hello! You are supposed to be laying down with me so I can pull your hair and make funny noises while I go off to sleep!" [silence for 2 minutes]
"Heeeeey! I'm still down here and I'm getting mad! I'm really sleepy, but I think I'll yell at you and let you know how ticked I am that you have left me down here to go to sleep!" [silence for 5 minutes]
"You thought I went to sleep!?!? Ha nope! I don't like this stuffed lamb, so I think I will throw it outside of my crib. But I really love this pink blanket... maybe I will go off to sleep after all." [silence for 5 minutes]
"This is my last ditch effort to get some attention... I'm about to go to sleep, but I think I will yell one last time just for fun. Good night mom!"
Oh, June. Sometimes your a hot mess. :)
When we were figuring out a new bedtime routine, I had an ah-ha moment that gave me the confidence to know that June understood what night-night is, and that she would be fine to "put" to bed. What I'm calling the "Toothbrush Incident of 2012" was when June was in her bath and I said, "Want to brush your teeth?" She looked up to the cabinet where her toothbrush is kept, pointed, and gave a "oo" noise. She knew what it was to brush her teeth and where the toothbrush was. We haven't even worked on the word toothbrush. I immediately thought of bedtime and thought, "She's ready." I know that many parents do this when their babies are weeks old, but I just wanted to wait for my own reasons. We have enjoyed our bed sharing, rocking, and nursing, and it's not that I regret any of that, it's just time for the next phase. I'm so glad I gave June plenty of time to feel secure at bedtime and that she doesn't have to cry it out in a state of fear, confusion, or stress. I'm so glad she is self-weaning, even though she has nursed once or twice in the early morning each day since she was sick. As I'm introducing other milks, I really don't know what I'm doing, but I will figure it out! I have prayed that God would make my instinct that he gave me really clear, because sometimes all my "Googling" drowns out my own hunches.
When June got sick, I prayed over her many times, and she wasn't getting better. She continued to be sick for about 3 days. On day 2, I was like, "God where are you? I'm asking and you're not doing!" But on day 3, as it became clear that June was really beginning to wean, I said to Him, "Oh, I see. Thanks." I hadn't even prayed about weaning, but God seemed to be saying, "I'll just take of it for you. I know you want to be done, and I'm going to make it fast and easy. Your welcome." I felt like it was a little bonus blessing I got for sticking with it in the beginning. Thank you Jesus. Sorry I was mad when you weren't making June better. I see now.