When I think of all that has changed in the last 2 months, it's hard to even put words to it. To begin, I came to a place of hope that I would get a teaching job before we even left for Costa Rica. I promised myself I would remain content either way, but I felt the Lord giving me the word, "Prepare." And the haste in which this all came about has left me still trying to land on my feet. I interviewed on a Thursday, accepted that evening, and moved boxes to my classroom the next day. The firehose of information and expectations that began to fill my mind and time quickly came to wear down my positivity and hope that I would ever feel like I knew what I was doing.
Fast forward 8 weeks. Each morning, I park in a church parking lot close to my school to pray. To get my eyes off of my to-do list, which written out on college ruled paper would literally be longer than I am tall. To read a devotion, so I am staying a student of the Word and just not becoming really skilled at self-help prayers. To pray for the armor of God to go with me into school, to set a way for the Kingdom of Christ to be advanced as the Holy Spirit leads my feet to step in places where Jesus is needed.
I've come round and round with anxiety and stress. But I hear a song, a scripture, or a prayer... or I have moments where God speaks, and then I know. I know that Jesus is so relentless to constantly draw my heart back toward Him. Because He never changes. My job, my time with my kids, my number of date nights with Kenny- these things change. My confidence in my teaching ability and my knowledge of the entire profession, these things have been stripped away. But Jesus is constant. His Word is an anchor when my ship tries so hard to sail away. When everything around me has changed, nothing has changed with my God. He will continue to fulfill his promises each and every day. Jesus will continue to love me with an unfathomable love, a kindness that leads to repentance. The Author of Life is always with me. His strength never fails. He walked with Shadrack, Meshach, and Abednego in the fire, and He still walks with me in the fire today. The Sabbath never changes. It comes every week without fail. 24 hours every week where I do not pick up work. Nothing has changed.
God is always in control. Nothing about Him has changed. He is good, and He will always be good. Jesus, you are a miraculous God, and you will continue to perform miracles. When I can't figure out how something will ever work out or happen, You are my hope. Because You never change. Your presence always brings life. You are a perfect parent, always seeking to teach me and grow me. You are so faithful. So when I say everything in my life has changed, I really mean nothing has changed. Nothing can change the faithfulness of my God and His goodness toward me.